Ask every question.
Question every answer.

Authority is like a septic tank - the BIG chunks float to the top!

I believe!
But only because atheism doesn't have enough holidays!

Art of medicine: amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.

Ask any woman her age and nine out of ten will guess wrong...

Aspirins prevent pregnancy...!
(but only when held tightly between the knees!)

I'm as confused as a baby at a topless bar.

Anybody going slower than you's an idiot, anyone going faster than you is a maniac.

One .GIF is worth a thousand .TXT's

Quantization Revision of Murphy's Laws:
Everything goes wrong all at once...

Sarcasm: intellect on the offensive.

Some asshole stole my rectal thermometer...

While money can't buy happiness, it does allow you to choose your own form of misery.

Worrying is the creative mind's waste of talent.

Tradition is always the last refuge for the incompetent.

This mess I'm in would be funny if it weren't happening to me.

I am upping our standards...
so up yours...

Keep up.

Never drive faster then your guardian angel can fly.